I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
