I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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