I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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