So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
