I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize