Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
