I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
sex in a hospital.. check
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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