i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize