no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
