she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
