dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
