it wasn't lemon gatorade
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
