You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
