I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
