I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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