I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
