So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
