Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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