STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
