Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize