Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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