I wish i was in the wii world.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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