I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
