I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
