if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I enjoy the company of your penis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
