What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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