hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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