remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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