i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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