Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
