Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
