Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
