we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
