wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
