i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
