Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
