I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize