Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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