just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize