i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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