Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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