So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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