well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
