I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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