apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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