Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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