he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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