Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

If that was your dad, he is hot

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(502): View more from Kentucky

The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"

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(443): View more from Maryland

Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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(231): View more from Michigan

I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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(310): View more from California

It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.

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(516): View more from New York

shit i just threw up on a freshman

(1-516): View more from New York

i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..

(516): View more from New York

nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.

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