You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
