it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
