11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Shame - the story of my life.
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