How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
