we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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