3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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