no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need a beard to bite.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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