there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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