The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
God, you're like boner-b-gone
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This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.