He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.