Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.