She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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