She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
