One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.